Bill the Lawnmower Man

This isn’t meant to denigrate Bill, because I don’t know him. He’s probably a nice guy, does a really great job and is completely reliable.

However, when we received his flyer through the front door, it somehow ended up on the floor of the entry. When I found it this morning, I thought it was one of Rachel’s school notes or to-do lists. I figured that Alex had gotten hold of it and I was rescuing it from the maw of imminent destruction. (Alex often decides that something should be thrown away or finds glee in ripping paper into small shreds).

It wasn’t Rachel’s handwriting. Maybe it was a bill (unintentional pun)? It took me a moment to realize that it was an ADVERTISEMENT. An ad for Bill’s Lawn Care & other services. Suddenly, I saw it in a whole new light and the more I looked at it, the more flabbergasted I became.

In our highly competitive world, where Master’s degrees are commonly required for entry-level jobs, I held in my hand, this ad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a casually designed, poorly written advertisement for a service – ever. I would expect more from a Jr. High School student … which (maybe) Bill is?

Look closely. The name and address were not altered by me, the smudges are part of the original document (which is a photo-copy, btw). Are those prices, or times? Does Bill cut your lawn 15-20 weeks? Does it cost $15-20 per week or (as I suspect) $15-20 per month? It is reassuring to note that Bill will clean up our evenings! Though I admit, I was disappointed to learn that Bill does ‘Fence Repair and [sic]Biulding’. (I thought it should have been ‘Billding’  ).

Wow! What an horrid advertisement. Let’s just say that IF we were in the market for lawn service, Bill wouldn’t be our first choice. However, in the world of branding, I suppose that Bill’s ad will stick in my mind. It was awful enough that I wrote about it, posting his telephone number to the world to see! (Maybe he’ll get some new business from this exposure).

Not everyone has the opportunity to get a Master’s degree and I can appreciate that. People from all walks of life and with all ranges of educational and mental abilities contribute to society and I can appreciate that, as well. Bill might be a really happy guy, generous and likeable. Everyone has an interesting story to tell and Bill might have several. He might be a war veteran who’s fought against oppression for the greater good of democracy.

Bill might be a lot of things, but the point is, I’m never going to find out. Mostly because I wouldn’t hire Bill. Not with a flyer like that.